The Stronger Me

     I thought my life when I was young was like a playground, that everything here on earth is all about playing. But I was wrong. The more I got the wisdom to live, the more life became boring and useless for me. Life for me before is like a non stop rolling coaster. It's enjoyable at first but the more you get used to it the more you wanna give and stop. But because I don't have the choice I just need to enjoy the moment even though I really want to vomit because of mix emotions and dizziness caused by chaos surrounding.

      I finally get bored of this side of me and wanted to try something new. So I tried to get a long with different people/personality and tried to get some wisdom on how they face this kind of life. What strategy they make to made their selves happy. Maybe I was a very weird person in the world to think such things. I was not an open person and I did not talked to my parents about my life or what's going on in my life. I love them though. I got used to this kind of personality because my mother never asked anything or gave some advises. But thanks to her because I am now an independent person in terms to emotions. 

     So this was me.. a bad side of me . I was living like this thinking I was on my own. But how God change me is another story. When I was looking for some books to read, I found a book titled "Purpose Driven Life" . This  really change me a lot. I found myself crying and thinking about what will happen to me or what is my purpose in this world. I prayed and ask God to change me. I followed what Rick warren said in his book to pray. I felt different. I felt peace and its's so awesome! But this did not stopped that way.

    One day when I was in San Agustin (My School) I was in 2nd year college that year. One of my school mate in high school invited me to have a bible study in their church. But at first I refused but eventually I went. Their I found a lot of young people praying and listening to the Word of God. In my mind, ( Are these people crazy?) But as I went on listening, I was moved and cried. I was convicted in my heart that I am a sinful woman and I wanted to change the way I live my life. Then the preacher said " talk to God and tell Him what you want. Surrender your life to Him and let Him carry the bitterness of your life". There I was crying and talking to God to change me for the better.

     Here I am today, stronger because of the Grace of God that working all the time in me. Everything that I do, I am living to please God and not men. I know this life is just like a pilgrims passing through so what I need to do is to live a life in accordance  of God's purpose. And this purpose is to be a life to everybody. To make them know that there is a living God that could carry our cross to relieve us in this agony of  life.